...and i can't help but want to go her...i have loved her for what seems like ages and have longed to go back for her to tickle me with her intoxicating aura barely noticing my existence in her veins.
her mysticism....consuming
her reputation...inviting
i can't wait to see her again
-iamLAJ
Monday, October 5, 2009
Friday, October 2, 2009
moments in rockmart
today i left work early. because i could and wanted to and did.
i had to go to the grocery so i hit up walmart (i hate walmart but it's entertaining). if you should ever need to practice patience then please go shopping between the hours of 12-2 pm.
anyway, i wanted some beer but walmart didn't have any that appealed to my tastebuds. i head home, put up my groceries and take a nap. my beer craving is in full swing. so i head to ingles to see what they have. i'm scanning the beer selection and then it's like the most beautiful music i ever heard started playing. the lights got a bit brighter. life became even better than good. first, let me tell you how impressed i am with ingles. i'm impressed. they have....wait for it...fat tire. yes fat tire. i don't have to drive 20 miles to get a good beer anymore. i mean they have yuengling yes but fat tire...*sigh* fat tire is special. so i get me two six-packs and head to the checkout. well. it seems all the "special people" decide to go the grocery between 4-5 pm. i'm standing in the self checkout waiting for everyone to figure out..well self checkout. so i hear someone speaking in my general direction so i look over and say "excuse me?"
first, let me give you a description of these individuals. i usually see them walking everywhere. i mean everywhere. i once saw them walking to rome which is about 18 miles away.
second, they are dressed rather uniquely....picture the clothes you would normally see on the side of the road and put that together as a wardrobe....
third, hygiene may be lacking.
back to the story. "excuse me?"
the lady says with a mouthful of popcorn, "what's that?"
me: "what's what?"
the lady pointing to my beer: "that?"
i grin: "beer."
the lady: "oh, beer." pause "i didn't know they made fat free beer."
i am dying inside.
me: "no, it's fat tire."
-iamLAJ
i had to go to the grocery so i hit up walmart (i hate walmart but it's entertaining). if you should ever need to practice patience then please go shopping between the hours of 12-2 pm.
anyway, i wanted some beer but walmart didn't have any that appealed to my tastebuds. i head home, put up my groceries and take a nap. my beer craving is in full swing. so i head to ingles to see what they have. i'm scanning the beer selection and then it's like the most beautiful music i ever heard started playing. the lights got a bit brighter. life became even better than good. first, let me tell you how impressed i am with ingles. i'm impressed. they have....wait for it...fat tire. yes fat tire. i don't have to drive 20 miles to get a good beer anymore. i mean they have yuengling yes but fat tire...*sigh* fat tire is special. so i get me two six-packs and head to the checkout. well. it seems all the "special people" decide to go the grocery between 4-5 pm. i'm standing in the self checkout waiting for everyone to figure out..well self checkout. so i hear someone speaking in my general direction so i look over and say "excuse me?"
first, let me give you a description of these individuals. i usually see them walking everywhere. i mean everywhere. i once saw them walking to rome which is about 18 miles away.
second, they are dressed rather uniquely....picture the clothes you would normally see on the side of the road and put that together as a wardrobe....
third, hygiene may be lacking.
back to the story. "excuse me?"
the lady says with a mouthful of popcorn, "what's that?"
me: "what's what?"
the lady pointing to my beer: "that?"
i grin: "beer."
the lady: "oh, beer." pause "i didn't know they made fat free beer."
i am dying inside.
me: "no, it's fat tire."
-iamLAJ
moments in rockmart
small town life has its advantages. for instance, everyone knows everybody. even if you are the new person in town everyone knows who you are. but that's not what i'm talking about. the advantage i see in a small town is the humor. it's everywhere. i mean i grew up in a small town and somehow ended up in a small town. so much for big city dreams. but anyway. i thought i would do little segments called "moments in rockmart" since i've had quite a few living here. this is real stuff. no embellishments needed. i cannot make stuff like this up.
this first one happened last week at mcdonald's.
i'm headed down to stone mountain to watch lydia's soccer game. i was hungry so i decided to hit mickey d's up. as i'm about to turn into the order thing a li'l elderly man driving a relatively new element cuts me off. ok. no worries. i didn't hear what he ordered but heard the drive-thru person say "your total is $2.03 please drive to the first window."
he doesn't move.
a few seconds later i hear him say "a hamburger and 2 apple pies."
girl at the window "yes sir, i got your order. your total is $2.03. please pull to the first window."
he still doesn't move.
a few more seconds later i hear "A HAMBURGER AND 2 APPLE PIES!"
girl at the window. "yes sir, please pull to the first window."
a few seconds go by and he starts to drive. but he doesn't stop at the first window he keeps going. i hear the girl at the window "SIR! SIR! RIGHT HERE!"
he kept driving.
i cannot stop laughing!
the girl starts to speak over the intercom and i can tell she's giggling and trying to hold it together. i'm just trying to get my order out.
so i pull up to the window. the girl and i just look at each other and start cracking up. i don't want to say anything bad about our elderly citizens because they are very dear to me.
but i say "this is one of those times where bless his heart is appropriate."
-iamLAJ
this first one happened last week at mcdonald's.
i'm headed down to stone mountain to watch lydia's soccer game. i was hungry so i decided to hit mickey d's up. as i'm about to turn into the order thing a li'l elderly man driving a relatively new element cuts me off. ok. no worries. i didn't hear what he ordered but heard the drive-thru person say "your total is $2.03 please drive to the first window."
he doesn't move.
a few seconds later i hear him say "a hamburger and 2 apple pies."
girl at the window "yes sir, i got your order. your total is $2.03. please pull to the first window."
he still doesn't move.
a few more seconds later i hear "A HAMBURGER AND 2 APPLE PIES!"
girl at the window. "yes sir, please pull to the first window."
a few seconds go by and he starts to drive. but he doesn't stop at the first window he keeps going. i hear the girl at the window "SIR! SIR! RIGHT HERE!"
he kept driving.
i cannot stop laughing!
the girl starts to speak over the intercom and i can tell she's giggling and trying to hold it together. i'm just trying to get my order out.
so i pull up to the window. the girl and i just look at each other and start cracking up. i don't want to say anything bad about our elderly citizens because they are very dear to me.
but i say "this is one of those times where bless his heart is appropriate."
-iamLAJ
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